March 1st, 2008

in shadow

3rd May, 1998 (Dictated to Quick-Quotes-Quill)

I could have saved him.

I could have saved him, and my sight and...and I threw it all away for some kid I didn't even know. I miss him so much. I never he told hi

I'm scared. Truly scared now, something I haven't known in so long. Nothing so inescapable like this. I woke up this morning and thought it had been a dream; that when I opened my eyes I'd be able to see again. I can not describe the wrongness of opening your eyes and seeing nothing; it still shocks me each time.

The world seems so different when you can not see it. There are great gaps of nothingness, and you fear might loose yourself in the space between one room and the next. I reach out with my fingers anticipation of brushing along anything causing such a heightened tenseness it's almost unbearable.

Father is taking such good care of me, but I can tell he is at a loss as to what to do around me. I still can't believe he abandoned the battle after finding me. Despite all the darkness weighing down on me, it lightens my heart.

I heard Voldemort fell...I have no words to describe how happy this has made me.

I feel so lost...
This time to reflect has made me realize all the people I hurt...
I don't even know if Michael made it through all right.